Wednesday 30 July 2008

work

I think I've made myself clear that to date, I've yet to attain confidence in the advises I give. More often than not, I always feel my opinion differs from the Wise ones.

Was doin some case research on a matter and came across this particular case which bear similar subject matter and facts to an opinion I gave months back. And I'm so glad that my opinion actually saved some *sses from being sued for in that case, the applicant succeeded in obtaining certiorari simply because the authority failed to adhere to natural justice rule of audi alterem partem (right to be heard) of which I very much insisted in the opinion I gave. And that's what saved them from being in a hot a soup.

Hooray for shue. The advantage of having gone through chambering period and the-not-so-long-practicing experience gives a different hind sight on things. I tend to look things both ways and not unilaterally.

It may seem petty, but it gives me the assurance that I don't suck in what I do. heh. =)

hurt feet

For a person who considers being a shopping/fashion consultant (read: perasan sendiri) is her second profession, she failed to adhere to shopaholic rule 101: wear comfortable shoes!! instead, she wore heels to suit her-oh-so-glam-bag (read: perasan again). Little did she know that she would be checking out stores from one end of shopping mall to the other end of shopping mall just to find a men's blazer. Yes, u read that right. A MEN'S BLAZER!!

The aftermath: simple. feet aching till today. A HuGE blister on the back of me right foot. Resulting of which, can't wear heels for it bites on the blister part which is now naked and exposed. so much of looking glamorous. sheesh.

Oh yeah, fyi, the shopping consultant session was on last MONDAY. and today's WEDNESDAY. do the math yo.

*sigh*

p/s: mr. dearie said person. i don't blame you one bit. i was the stubborn one. so sue me.

Tuesday 29 July 2008

Shhhh...

The boss and I are on a mission: pretending to be at a non-existent meeting.

why you may ask? there's a sumthing sumthing ceremony going on at the moment of which the boss and I thinks it is of no significance. It's typical of me not to show up at these functions, BUT my boss? wow, that's a first.

Believe it or not, we're seated quietly behind closed doors in the comfort of our own room minding our own business leaving an impression that a) we ARE at the ceremony or b) we're at a non-existent meeting. And the idea came from the Boss. Why go to the extend of pretending? simply because numerous (read: 3 times!!) announcements were made asking(begging) all workforce to attend the function held at the hall downstairs. Which indicates ONLY one thing, the hall is half empty. heh. so, pretend we must.

so, shhhhh...it'll be our little secret. =)

Monday 28 July 2008

All is good

"Be with someone who loves you more than you love yourself"

I heard of the above quotation more than once. I've witnessed it. I'm experiencing it.

The past whirlwind of events made me realize that I've taken for granted on things that he does/willing to do for me. Yes, people I'm a self-certified QC (figure it out yourself). I get things to be done ONLY my way. It's my way or the high way (or so to speak).

But on that unfortunate Thursday, the Hulk in him emerged. All green and monster-ly liked *I'm not kidding*. The bottleneck pressure I caused on him exploded. Now, it's the other way round, it's HIS way or the highway. I was taken aback.

I thought it was dead over (which explains the sappy sorrow entries posted). But I couldn't let go. Not because I was desperate. Not because I was pathetic. But because I couldn't. I said 'stay'. He said 'why?'. I said, 'just because I don't want you to go'. *Note: And no, that was not the Tom Cruise 'you' complete me moment*. My request (he said it was begging.pfft) was turn down cold heartedly.

I pushed my luck and pestered him to stay. A home made 'sorry' card and a book gift did not even slightly stir his decision. I failed (or so I thought). When all fails, the secret weapon comes into play. I put on my best 'sappy sad' look and voila', for a moment I saw him smile (not the green wide smile. just a small hidden smile). good sign, yes.

But again, that was NOT the 'you complete me moment'. *sigh* to keep it short, ALL IS GOOD now.

I learnt that I made him cry on that unfortunate Thursday (just because he was very dissapointed in me. yes, I did a nasty thing/cumulative nasty things to turn him into that green monster. guilty as charged)
I learnt that I've underestimated his dreams and passion
I learnt that I AM the creator of that green monster in him. *tsk.tsk.I dissapoint myself*

From that,

I have to learn to respect
I have to learn to trust
I have to learn to believe
I have to learn to be patient

He may not be THE perfect guy for me. But I would like to think that he is THE guy for me.

For compromising, for understanding, for forgiving and forgetting, I salute you Mr. Dearie Said Person.

We have a long way to go. ;p

p/s: thanks to fellow friends who commented on my previous posts consoling me and telling me that everything will be okay. *hugs*

*Now all of you can go puking now. heheh..*

Friday 25 July 2008

Reflection of how i feel

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your faceYou told me how proud you were, but I walked awayIf only I knew what I know todayOoh, oohI would hold you in my armsI would take the pain awayThank you for all you've doneForgive all your mistakesThere's nothing I wouldn't doTo hear your voice againSometimes I wanna call yaBut I know you won't be thereOhh I'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myself by hurting youSome days I feel broke inside but I won't admitSometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I missAnd it's so hard to say goodbyeWhen it comes to this, oooh yeahWould you tell me I was wrong?Would you help me understand?Are you looking down upon me?Are you proud of who I am?There's nothing I wouldn't doTo have just one more chanceTo look into your eyesAnd see you looking backOhh I'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myself, ohhIf I had just one more dayI would tell you how much that I've missed youSince you've been awayOoh, it's dangerousIt's so out of lineTo try and turn back timeI'm sorry for blaming youFor everything I just couldn't doAnd I've hurt myself by hurting you - christina aguilera 'hurt'

pathetic

Hey it's friday. Under normal circumstances I'd be jumping with joy but obviously since yesterday, nothing is any longer normal.

Hence, I'd be taking this lonely pathetic sole to any shopping complex after work to drown my sorrows on potential retail therapy. I know I know, no more over-budgeting BUT something NEEDS to be done to cure my broken heart.

I shall stop now for I sense teary eyes.

Yes, call me pathetic. I am. I am indeed a fool.

Now, leave me alone while I listen to pathetic love songs.

pfft..

Exhilirating

Back in the practicing days, I was the girl who would write down notes in meeting, the girl who would stay back till the wee hours of the morning to assist preparing bundle of documents for a case due next morning. I was even the girl who had to deliver those documents to court. In short, a not-so-well paid kuli cabuk.

Today, I exchanged words (disagreement) with a PARTNER of a rather renown firm of whom I only came to find out after the meeting. We exchanged cards. Like wow. Exhilarating. Never in a million years I think I would've able to do what I did just now.Hihihih..

This job is not so bad after all. Glad didn't make a fool of myself. Oh yeah.=)

*shuey in the mode of poyo-ness and jakunnes*

Thursday 24 July 2008

Absorbed

I've been too absorbed in the reality of life that I forgot to think or realize that I am not the only one thinking about it.

I've been selfish. I know.

Facing the consequences I must even if it means having that someone walk out of my life.

What is ideal anyway? What is permanent anyway?

I know that someone reads this blog.

I'm Sorry.

Indeed, I've been a fool.

Please don't go.

Thursday 17 July 2008

what friends?

Reading this proves to show that one's action or ommission towards another friend leaves an implied emotional effect on the other.

Sometimes we do/omit to do things unintentionally but that very action of ours gives an opening to negative reaction by the person feeling 'victimised' by such action.

I've personally experience many such encounters but many of the times i choose to brush it off for I hold to my mom's and late opah's word everytime such situation arises:

mom said "friends come and go BUT family stays"
late Opah said "biar orang buat kat kite, jgn kite buat kat orang" *read it in Perak slang*

Of course it's hard to swallow or digest when we feel we're forgotten/abandon by our friends. It makes us feel unworthy of the so called 'friendship' we build for many years.

And that is why it's best to keep any friendship at most minimal. So that one would not feel betrayed by another lack of compassion/action towards the other.

After encountering a lot of unnecessary emotional turmoil, the above chant is my current life mantra.

But then again, we are but a humble human being who are not flawlessly perfect. The imperfections make one a human being.

Hence, to dear you, please don't feel your abandoned by your friends. I believe I'm not only speaking on my behalf but I'm speaking on behalf of the rest of your university peers. We would love to come by and pay a visit.

Rage

Daily office journey (to Putrajaya):

leave house: 7.15-7.20 a.m
arrive office: 8.00 a.m

Today:

left house: 7.20 a.m
arrived office: 8.35 a.m

Dear Police Force,

Should you decide to set up road blocks on a working day, kindly give us, road users an early heads up!!!

xoxo,

Angry citizen

sheesh. and one would think the route to Putrajaya via LDP would not be jammed. Not when one is staying in Damansara Jaya!! I could not imagine those from Puchong heading towards KL for work today. One road block near East In caused massive jam all the way to Puchong. It's ridiculous i tell ya!!

*shuey wishing she's back home playing with a one eyed blue kitten named ten-ten.sigh*

Tuesday 15 July 2008

B to the O to the R to the E to the D

I know I'm not suppose to complain. I know I should be thankful.

BUT I am simply getting bored at my job. I need excitement. I want to explore. I crave for adventure.

Instead, for the past two weeks or so; the office mood is dum dim dum.

I'm b.o.r.e.d!!!!

Friday 11 July 2008

Kenit

Male.1 year plus.pair of blue+green eyes.

Found lifeless outside the very gate of my family's casa. Result of being hit by an unknown car.

Was sound asleep when my mom woke me. She just said 'Kenit..'. I went, 'why kenit? is he dead?' Mom said 'I don't know. Maybe. Klong's outside with him'. Braved myself to go outside and it was indeed a devastating sight. He was motionless. Lifeless. Dead.

To write this is hard enough. Memories of him living, running around carefree haunts me. He was special. He was loved. Caught my dad looking at his graveyard this morning; a sign he misses Kenit.

Soo many to share bout this tiny bundle of joy when he was still living and breathing but as I'm writing this, I can't stop crying. I miss him too much and it hurts.

To my dear sisters, the 'what if''s' would not bring him back. He was taken away for a reason. Letting go we must.

Kenit, you are sorely missed.

Thursday 10 July 2008

Impression

It never occured to me till today that I can't really relay whatever I want to relay in my blog for if I did, i would impress upon viewers of my blog that I'm ignorant of the current situation (i.e oil price hike, political instability etc)

Truth is, I am ignorant because I refuse to indulge myself in such news anymore. There can be two sides of any story. Boils down to one theory : conspiracy. My observation, conspiracy could also be two ways. Both ways can fight and bicker and it would never end. For whatever it's worth, it will go off for a while till it come back to haunt whoever next probably 10-20 years down the line. and THAT'S why I choose to be ignorant.

Coming back to my opening statement (chehwah!!poyo). It's true, whatever's expressed in one's blog gives an idea of who one is in person. Except in situation where one chooses to potray one's split/various personality for whatever reasons only they would know.

I'm starting to not make sense again. uh-huh.yup.

Let's just get straight to the point. Received a parcel yesterday and now I can scrap one of the item on this wishlist of presents as it came true yesterday. Yay!! Im happy.=)

Now, can you see the relevance of this post?

spender shu=happy shu=insensitive shu *tsk* *tsk*

my defence.bought it at a fraction of the retail price.saved up for it.

And yes, I'm not only official-function-phobic but I'm also a phobic when it comes to people being judgemental to my inner-conscience/character.

There, I've said it.

It's blue. It's big. I'm happy.

*Note to oneself: enough over budgetting exercise till the end of the year.sheesh.

Wednesday 2 July 2008

back & tanned

Arrived home safely from the land of Redang on the evening of Monday with a very very tanned skin (icks) which then weirdly turned red yesterday. mr. dearie said person however convinced me that I didn't look bad with the very tanned skin and I took his words for he has forever been my no. 1 confidence booster.=)

Redang was alright. For some reasons (which I shall not disclose), I enjoyed last year Perhentian trip better though this time around we did more activities. Snorkelling is a must (obviously). We also did candat sotong but i failed miserably as no squid was attracted to my bait (shucks). We karaoke-ed. We played cards. They did Discovery Diving with the exception of yours truly and another friend for we can't swim and our water confidence is almost zilch. We laughed. We sotong-bbq-ed. We got very tanned. Pretty much sums up my 4 days 3 nights Redang extravagant.

Photos will follow suit later (as usual). hihi.

I've many things on my head to blog but can't seem to phrase anything properly. *sigh*

Will try to get thy thinking cap working soon.

*shuey bumming around the office. in no mood to work*