Friday, 2 March 2012


in Mekah or Madinah.

Alhamdulillah, the family and I came back from Umrah safe and sound since last Sunday after being in Mekah and Madinah for more or less 9 days.

Till now, I long the feel of not worrying about anything. I long the walk to and fro masjidil nabawi and masjidil haram. I long the feel of being so close to Allah that I know he listens to each and every dua'. I long the feel of being so small yet he hears my dua' and grants them almost immediately. Masya Allah.

To me, it was a big deal to land my feet on the Holly Land. Yes, it was my first. And I know Insya Allah if there is a second, third or fourth, it will STILL be a big deal to me for the land is so holly, nothing is coincidental. 

Like how I got to pray in Raudhah without getting kicked or shoved when there were people around shoving and pushing. No one crossed my head. The feeling was just Subhanallah beautiful. 

Like how I prayed that we'll be given a chance to pray near Raudhah on the last day we were in Madinah. You see to get to Raudhah, there is only one way in and one way out. Allah grants our dua' by moving a gentleman's heart to let us pass through the exit way from Raudhah to get to the area near Raudhah. We could visibly see the dome where Rasulullah is laid to rest. Subhanallah.

Like how a Turkish lady who sat next to me in masjidil haram during Zuhr, in her own words prayed that I'll be granted with a baby boy. Of course less she knew I was praying day and night to be able to conceive and have zuriat with Syam. *tear*

Like how I prayed after tawaf that I could spot my mother amongst the thousands of pilgrims. Prayer granted almost in split second.

Like how I did Istikharah to seek signs from Allah on a very personal matter. And He granted it almost immediately.

Like when I prayed that my wudhu' be protected until I completed my tawaf. And that was granted too. May not seem big to many but it matters a whole lot to me as I have gas problem.

Also when I saw a man with colorful tattoos all over his arm during tawaf. It was a sign that Allah is great. He accepts all ibadah regardless of size, color, culture, previous religion, etc. 

See, nothing is coincidental. 

I also had the most amazing sights of seeing muslims crying for forgiveness. Seeking to accept our repentance. Be it men and women. Including yours truly. 

Truly I miss. Truly I long the feel of serenity. Truly I long the feel of closeness to Him. 

Back in reality, I struggle to keep the balance. What matters is what we bring with us to the here after. Not the bags, the shoes, the car, the house. To keep the balance is not easy. When temptations surrounds us. 

For that, I respect Wardina Safiyyah for being bold to say, "I am religious and I am not ashamed of it."

Here are some pictures where the sky is always blue where I long to be:


On the way to Madinah
The inside of Masjidil Nabawi
Subuh outside Masjidil Nabawi
 The peak of Jabal Uhud

 Subuh Masjidil Haram

 Of the many Masjidil Haram's tower

 They build house on pure rock in Mekah

 Favorite photo of the year, Jabal Rahmah where Adam met Eve after 40 years

 One day after tawaf, speechless

 Curious little bird, even that is not coincidental!

Thursday, 19 January 2012


2012 begun like 18 days ago. Well, hello! 19.1.2012. Alone on a lunch break in my room over sausage (i swear tastes similarly to 1901), small packet of cadburry bytes and nestle bliss (the one that cleans my bowel system. TMI, right?)

This time one year ago, I was struggling at a new working environment managing a small army of subordinates. Today, standing at 9 months into new working environment after the last new working environment, alhamdulillah I am adapting and adjusting well.

2011 was nothing but eventful from working dilemma and struggles, to getting married to the same dude I've been seeing for the past 8 odd years, to discovering what I am really capable off be it positively and negatively. 

2011 made me wiser. 2011 made me stronger. 2011 made me make mistakes which I would remember for life. 2011 thought me WHAT matters and WHAT doesn't. 2011 thought me WHO matters and WHO doesn't.

Here is to 2012 albeit 19 days later to a better year, to making me wiser, to making me stronger, to be as eventful as 2011. Insya Allah.