Monday, 27 June 2011

The Power Of People Influence

Last Saturday was spent earlier at Chic Pop Market at Jaya One and later to KLCC for GLC Open Day.

Chic Pop was uber fun for my eyes feasted upon crafty stuffs, dirt cheap accessories, shoes and bags. The shopaholic devil in me gave way to a bag, bracelet and natural soap. Tsk tsk. Mother and sister didn't quite help. They became the devil's advocate instead of my money guardian. Tsk tsk some more.

GLC Open Day was quite interesting but still left me feeling them who befits the GLCs are only those who are yuppie-snooty-sort. If you're NOT ALL that, then forget to be part of the corporate empire. Disturbing, I know.

Anyway, want to know the similarities of these two different events? It was filled with some true hijabi fashionistas and some hijabi-fashionistas-wannabes. All wanting to appear hip and cool like them Scarflet and of course, who else, Hana Tajima.

Don't get me wrong. I've nothing against them people. It is just so amazing how the public at general can be so much influenced and dare I say obsessed with the phenomenan that these people bring. I am not an exception. Guilty to a certain extend BUT i am NOT obsessed. I know my borderline. 

There are so many people wanting to be someone else for the beauty they possess. For the wealth they carry. But what about wanting to be someone elese for their brain and intelligence. I want that.

Say hello to thespasmodicscribbler. I came to know about this smartypants blogger through one of those bride blogger link. From her writings, it is so clear that this bride to be is a career driven woman who plans and manages her financial well. Read up her post on "The Day We Got The Keys To Our 1st House". While others save up to get that designer bags, shoes, clothes to stay in trend. I am guilty as charged. This sheer genius saved up to buy a house with her fiance'. Her determination and self control amazed me. I wish I was all that. I always look forward to reading her new posts. Nothing shallow. Just simple good english on her life. Talk about the power of people influence. TSS, as how I fondly address her is one good influence example.

Besides TSS, I love reading the knot. Young accomplished persons. Envy much. But in a good way. The term 'paradigm shift' have long been sold but I don't see much shifting in the younger generations (including yours truly). All wanting to be hipper, trendier. All for the wrong reasons.

Now, where is that paper and pen. I have to re-set my goals. This time. For the right reasons. Insya Allah.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

The haunted dais

If it is not apparent enough, I've been ranting and rambling about how ugly both my dais were. Equally for house and hall. I regretted for not listening to my mother to opt for a complete package from the caterer. I was afraid that they would not be able to pull a clean, simple with a touch of elegant dais.

Ex-brides and bride-to-be's can attest how ridiculously expensive can dais' be. We (the mother and I) agreed that it will be a waste of money to spend thousands of ringgit over something which would only be used for mere few hours. The unfortunate thing in Malaysia is, not many vendors can conceptualize how  clean, simple with a touch of elegance is supposed to be like and do it reasonably priced. They seem to like the idea of a more meriah a dais is, the better and of course with that, mahal! Even if there are such vendors (i know there are a few) that can understand the whole idea of simplicity with a touch of elegance, it comes with a hefty price. I remembered going to one of the kerja kahwin exhibition where i fell absolutely in love with this one dais. It had green backdrop with orchid flowers 'floating' at the back. It was screaming "me!!" since I super love colors and the dais looked different than normal which is again so ME. Unfortunately, mother thought it was too pricey. Since she's paying, I just had to let it go. We never revisited that vendor. I am sure had we the time to compare prices and service, she would in the end agree to go for the other vendor. To be honest, it was not pricey at all. I thought for the service and expertise that they can offer, the rate was fairly reasonable. Oh well, the vendor I was talking about is Precious Moments. They do not have a blog/website. But if you google them up, there are reviews on their services.

So, anyways, the reason I'm writing this is because -

  • numero uno, I cannot get over the fact that both dais' was ugly and so outdated.;
  • Second, as i perused the vendor-who-did-my-dais's fb page, my heart literally dropped (and felt like it was squeezed) to see so many other dais after me, that the vendor executed beautifully.

I remembered when the vendor came over and asked me what my concept was and when I said I wanted something simple, clean but elegant, she gave me the disbelief look. I of all people should know that was a BAD sign. Since my mind was so messed up with work and majorly pleasing  the parents with how and what the wedding should be like, the vendor and I only managed to sitt down and talk a week before my wedding reception. Madness. I know. Prior to that, the vendor e-mailed me photos of dais that the vendor said was the current trend. Another BAD sign as the dais in the photos looked ewww, so NOT me.  Truth be told, mother had a bad feeling about the vendor since the vendor DID NOT attempt to contact me for a meet up until the very last minute. I know I should've done my part. But it would be a plus point for vendors to initiate since it is the service they're trying to sell. Mother did suggest, why not cancel and just ask the caterer to whip up something for both home and hall. The ever degil me refuse to listen and insisted that we stick to the plan. Partly because some money has been deposited into the vendor's account. Also because I was somehow conviced, I'll get the dais that I imagined it to be.

When we sat down and talked, I specifically said I didn't want any panel sorta dais both for home and hall. I wanted a simple white back drop for both. We actually googled up flora.etc to get inspiration and came to an agreement that the nikah dais would be white and pink back drop and two fresh flowers by the side. Nothing extravagant . For the hall, we came up with  concept of using tree twigs as decoration. The vendor was going on to say we can put different colors to light up the back drop as how the others are doing now to minimalize the use of props on stage. I suddenly got excited and was looking forward to the reception day as the whole idea was different than normal. SO ME RIGHT! I remembered texting soul sisters bongok miera/ein how excited I was with the whole concept and how i was looking forward to both nikah and the reception day.

Imagine the dissapointment when -

  • first, the vendor came at 12.30 a.m. to fix the nikah dais when we mentioned it would be used for khatam in the morning. The vendor did not even attempt to say they'll be THAT late. Initially they say they'll come by at night but not THAT LATE. I had to text the vendor numerous time to ask when will they fix the nikah dais;
  • two, they came with fake flowers but said they'll change it to fresh flowers the following morning. I thought that was very unprofessional;
  • three, when they fixed the dais, it was UGLY and so not how I wanted it to be. But I was too tired to be bothered. After all, it is only for nikah and there is no way anything could be fixed. To get into a fight on the morning of my nikah day was just too tiring. I let go and ignored.
  • four, when they came with the fresh flowers after the khatam, the colors were NOT as how we discussed and the arrangement was so wrong and looked flat. the fake flowers suited the whole concept better. again, i felt no used making huge fuss. I was getting married at 5 p.m. that same day.
credits to afnan omar
  • fifth, upon checking the reception dais on the morning of reception, the stage was bare. not covered. tape marks and the ugly color of the stage outdo the whole  dais decor. i specifically text the vendor few days before the reception day to remind the vendor to cover the stage with white cloth. the small stairs leading to up to the stage was uncovered too. mother had to rush to kamdar upon advice from the caterer to get yards and yards of cloth to cover the stairs and stage. fyi, when i immediately called the vendor to fix the ugly, the vendor actually said they didnt have enough cloth to cover the stage. but they came later to cover it anyway. grrr. the caterer did the ruffled-look small stairs.
  • sixth, there were no colored lights to highlight the white back drop. just a couple of ugly annoying yellow stage light. the back drop was secured ugly-ly (if there is such a word). there were not twigs branch on the stage. only twigs at the entrance and the sides of the red carpet.
The only thing i liked about the whole decor for reception was the main table and the twigs hanged with orchids at the sides of the red carpet. It was so clear the dais was horrendously ugly even the OP didnt take complete photo of the dais. Just snippets of it here and there. Here are some of the pics from the OP.   

credits to Fad Manaf

credits to afnan omar

Yes, it was something different. But it was way too simple and badly executed. Fyi, the two red pillows, the hand fan, the tepak at the front, carpet and bunga pahar are from home. Some of you might say, it didn't look too bad. That is because the OP was smart at taking good angles. Oh btw, the vendor was amazed with the bunga pahar my mother single handedly made. The vendor even wanted one as sample for her to make for potential clients. Pfft.

True that we didn't pay extravagant amount for the above but it does not justify one to deliver poor service. Only if the vendor was more meticulous and more particular with how arrangements were made, we would be happier. Even if the vendor could've suggested that things will look better if we added on some more money, we would have obliged. Siapa yang tak suka cantik kan? But it felt like the vendor was uninterested and did everything half-heartedly.

All of the above could be avoided if the followings were done;

  • harrased the vendor for appointments and follow up frequently;
  • be very meticulous and specific in what I wanted and put it all in writing (of all people, a lawyer should know bettter right?);
  • supervised them setting up the dais and made sure it was done as how it was agreed;
  • went to hall how ever late it was to supervise the whole setting up to minimalize damage and heart ache. I didn't do that because I was just too tired.
So dear bride to be's, please take note of all the above to avoid getting heart aches and heart burns like what I am having now. Make time from work or if you can't do just that, get someone close that you trust to assist you in getting things done. Yes, all the above are merely material and nothing spiritual but when you pay someone for a/any service, you expect nothing less than good service from them. Or else, might as well not hire them or do anything in the first place. I think that was what that got me riled up immediately after all reception was over and done with.

I was more relaxed and more in love with husb reception where there was no dais, no red carpet. Greeted with few shows of good silat. Then accompanied with gendang music all the way to the decorated main table with good kampung food.

Less is definitely more. To the vendor, my mother said to me don't hold grudges. In mother's own words, "Memaafkan dapat pahala. Allah akan balasnya".

To my sisters, when you guys get married, I promise I'll be the wedding planner from hell and you guys will get the most awesome-est reception that I didn't quite get. Love much!    

Thursday, 16 June 2011


Things have been relatively quiet these days. Everyone is doing their own thang. I don't seem to know anymore.But that's only because, I'm twitter sober remember? I've never felt this calm. Not knowing what others do. It's actually therapeutic. Wee. =)

Only when I got really bored, i log in to twitter via twitter for bb. Even then, nothing much's goin on. Same ol' same ol'

Syam just picked up our nikah certificate. I know right, we're going into our third month of marriage. Only now we can show the world we're legally married under the Syariah laws of Malaysia. Not that we couln't care less, we just didn't have the time. Now we can watch midnight movies without the lil inkling feeling that I always have on 'what if there is a raid and we don't have proof on us that we're married'. lol. But so far, we've checked in hotels without having to show proof that we're married. That should be a good thing, right? Wrong! That means we looked old enough to be married. Boo! But then, prolly because I still had henna on my nails. Okay. I'm consoled.

Married life has been interesting thus far. 2 months plus young and we already had our own little drama moments, funny moments, blissful and blessed moments.

I've cooked for him.
He's been leading prayers whenever we're both at home.
We've been out on midnight dates.
We went on our own travel escapade, albeit locally. Tapi adventurous and fun!
We bought our first property together. *smiles*
He bought me flowers. The first time EVER!
and many many other eventful moments.

Marriage is nothing perfect. There are days where we feel like pulling each other's hair (and later make up. that's the fun part. ;)) There are also days where nothing can go wrong and nothing went wrong (i call it perfect days). But that is just what marriage is all about. It is nothing close to purely sex as how the OWC seem to think.

It's about compromising. It's about adapting. It's about learning. It's about patience.

What Syam and I have is not perfect but it is almost what I imagined it to be and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Here's to many many more years to come. May we grow old together, never got tired of each other and love each other for eternity. Insya Allah. Amin.

Friday, 10 June 2011

twitter sober

Hi, my name is shueyshoelove.
I use to be twitter obsessed that I have to check twitter updates every 5 seconds.
Until I started to get annoyed with some twitter feeds by some people whom I follow.
I unfollowed them bunch.
The obsession continues.
Until I realized twitter was sucking the life of me.
I started to get paranoid when I shouldn't. I started to feel all conscious when I shouldn't. I was glued to the phone.
The annoyance of random-ridiculous-full-of-pride-hypocritical-thoughts-some-aimed-at-making-others-feel-smaller-feeds made me go insane.
So I decided to leave it all behind.
I deleted twitter handle on my phone.
I've been twitter free for 3 days now.
Now I am sober.
This is my story.
I feel so much free.