Bitter lesson

I learn to speak only when necessary.

I learn not to be too passionate.

I learn not to care. Care only when necessary.

I learn to trust no one.

It took me 2 and a half years to learn that work is not everything. It took me 2 and a half years to learn that certain things are in my control, certain things aren't. It took me 2 and a half years to learn to not beat myself up if I can't perform to my expected standards.

So, here's to many many many more working years and may it not crumble me to pieces.

5 days and counting. =)

Sunday

Nothing beats Sunday shopping with dearest mother. Nothing beats making her happy. Nothing beats hearing kittens purr. What monday. What work. I'm blessed.

I'd be famous for pulling a "shue"

Often people say, it's alright to make mistakes. Often people say, brush off that dirt and pick yourself up.

Truth is: NO, it's not alright to make mistakes (though in my capacity, I didn't think it was a mistake. I'm standing by it). Truth is: it's not easy to brush off that dirt and pick yourself up.

Truth is: I'm running away. I'm tired. I had it. The pressure is unbearable. The expectation is uncalled for.

This ain't fun.

The only thing that I'm looking forward now is next week.

Had it!

Today, I crossed the line. Call me unprofessional. I don't quite care. Anger leading to tears after shows extreme anger. That was that. I was EXTREMELY ANGRY. Full Stop.

Title

What is IN a title. Is the obsession due to the proverb "harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama." But when the Talkin is read, It doesn't say Miss/Mr/Mrs/Tun/Dato'/Datin etc. So, what is the obsession of having one called/addressed correctly. Saying it once I get it, but repetitively, irks me too much. Seriously.

Mother.him.me

And they make jokes/tell horrific stories about MIL. Should I be afraid when the (my) mother sides him more. When the (my) father and (my) mother understands the situation better.

Seriously dude, you're one lucky bugger! Better start thanking your lucky stars.NOW!

Friday cheer factor!

She replied. I'm obsessed with her work. Nope, day ain't near yet. But, yes. I'm obsessed with pretty dresses. Pretty shoes. Pretty bags. Pretty things.

Miss designer, you made my day! =)

Unconditional

Mother.unconditional love.irreplaceable.speechless.

Love you mother.

Father.supportive.unconditional love.speechless.

Love you father.

To you,now you know what I really meant when I said you're already considered part of the family.

The ball is in your court now.

hello 2010?

My stomach did a flip flop on the way to work. That more often than not indicates something bad/awful/unwanted would/might happen today.

And my prediction was right. The brought-shiver-to-me-spine e-mail came at few minute before the clock turned 9 a.m. fate unknown yet.

*sigh*

when would this madness stop. really, i've lost hope. i don't think i can do this. wait, i don't think I WANT to do this anymore.

make it stop. let me work in peace. please.

what a way to start 2010.