Suicidal mission left me suicidal

You know how the boss like to send me to war field without having any ammo? I always like to call it suicidal mission. However, today's suicidal mission was not my boss' fault.

So, I went to war field, guard-less, arm-less, and I died!! Like literally died!! For I really didn't know the subject matter. *malu sey*

This is more like a self-disappointment post for I hate going to any mission unprepared. I at least would like to be equipped with some ammo so as not to embarrass my self. But today I failed. And I made myself look bad.

Though I know I should not be hard on myself (as the matter was NEVER handled by me. and I was called for THE 9.30 meeting at 9.25. like heck 5 minutes of preparation? DID NOT HELP!!) but I hate the idea of making our fort look bad. I hate the bad-impression that the enemy gave.

Ish. Someone take me to the Ferragamo sale (to cuci mata). I need window-retail-therapy.

I want to be as happy as her. shucks.