Random thoughts (before i head home)

Soalan berbangkit pada hari ini:

• "Garangnya shu", pegawai itu berkata. Soalan saya balik, garang kah saya? seolah tidak percaya. honestly.
• "Tengah bahagia ya?" seorang lagi pegawai itu berkata. Saya menjawab, "ye, saya tahu saya sudah gemuk. jangan tanya soalan itu".

Cheh. Baru nak perasan ada orang tegur dah kurus (konon). But obviously to concur that I've gone down is going against everything that is obvious. like duh.

Hanya seorang sahaja ada delusional syndrome; YOU! kan dah cakap I've gained weight dan saya bulat seperti bola. Denying it would not push me to do something about it. Jadi, sila lah mengaku yang saya sudah membesar bagai juara. *sigh*

Another reason not to plan right?

brain numb

A whole day session of absorbing policy+ legal issues literally left me brain numb. The last time I had brain numb was in uni years after final exams. refreshing right?

While some of you starts partying tomorrow till Sunday, I won't. While some of you heads to Kedah for Toni's reception, I won't due to logistic and substantial financial issues. If you get my drift.

Anyways, to work I'll be at tomorrow. Friends attending Toni's reception, send me regards to her.

To you, we shall not give up hope. You being more optimistic about it keeps me spirit high. Let's do this.*hugs*

p/s: if things ain't changing, we'll go to plan B i.e. get that DSLR, attend photography class and let ME be your subject. alritey? =)

I wish I know where the land is

When I said,

Take me to the land of no worries
Take me to where I won't feel stupid
Take me to where I feel I belong
Take me to where I feel calm
Take me to where I'll be happy

He said,

I wish I know where the land is.

Thank you. How not to lose hope. How not to stop planning. There is still hope. There is still time.

Insya Allah.

A little optimist litigator bird

An optimist bird dropped by the office last night and we (well they) worked till late night and said, "don't ask the whys. look forward and find solutions". simple with a mind blowing message.

then he had to just spoil it and said, "your husband orang mane?" wth!!

apply advice: don't ask why he asked. find solution. cari husband?

have a weekend blast peeps!!

Confused

I remembered when I started working I was a cautious person. I rarely ask questions for fear that I would look stupid.

After a couple of years, I was told informally that it is not wrong to ask questions and raise issues.

But today, I asked questions. I raised issues. Impression I got, non-issue and invalid question.

Hence, confused.

"speak now or forever hold your peace" they say. pfft.

Still wrong. Still ridiculed. Still judged.

Again, confused.

Mom said I'm being too hard on myself. How not too?

It's been a month

since the should've been event. since then, i stopped planning. I am not the slightest angry at the reason that caused it to be postponed.

I just can't help but feel left behind.

But I'm not losing hope. Mother say I shouldn't. He said I shouldn't.

One month. 30 days. well technically, till new year. Miracles do happen, no?

back to reading some boring report on something depressingly related to work.

fat bump

As I looked in the mirror, I said to myself "orang lain ada baby bump. aku ada fat bump.tsk tsk."

Can the silence not be for ONLY a day. Can it be for at least a week? *sigh* silence was indeed golden while it last.

Shoo away all pesky noise. Shoo I say!!